estimated reading time: 5-6 minutes
Howdy everyone,
By now many of you have heard that I passed my final academic obligation (the DMA lecture and defense) and can now be called Dr. Nebeker! Technically I still need to submit the actual document to the required database, but I am once again at the mercy of academic bureaucracy and it’s a long weekend, so if I submit it late, it’s legitimately not my fault because my committee approvals held me up.
I feel many different ways about this achievement, but relief is the main feeling for now. It was not an easy feat to complete a doctoral level program in three years, and now having done everything, I can confidently say that most people who believe they can do this, cannot actually do this. Most of the times, it’s not their fault - being a full-time student at the doctoral level often means working full-time either as a graduate employee (GE, TA, etc.) or maintaining jobs outside of school. Everyone has to make a lot of sacrifices to get to this level of academic achievement, it doesn’t matter what level of degree you get. But at the doctoral level, those sacrifices become a lot more visible, and you really get to learn what you and your peers are willing to give up in order to get that coveted “Dr.” status (I’ll save this for a later newsletter when I’ve had more time to process post-graduation, I haven’t even had my commencement yet).
Now that I have the time and space to think outside of my research, I keep thinking about Internet comments and how they’ve changed so radically over the decades. If there’s one thing I still guilty-scroll to this day, it’s a comment section (which is precisely why I can’t be a content creator. If I look at internet comments of myself I’ll throw up but I can look at others just fine). I feel like in the Web 1.0 days (pre-social media), comments were a genuine way to carry a conversation or discussion about anything. Now that we’re in late Web 2.0 territory, comments carry a very different status and weight, depending on what’s being talked about.
I am mostly a supportive commenter these days: I say nice things on my friend’s posts if I feel so motivated to say anything at all. Sometimes I try to be funny about it, most times I just go for general hype man #4 and be silly. I have a much sharper tongue in person, which is why I save most of my critical comments for discreet conversations shared between friends but I don’t comment hateful or mean things online. It’s just too permanent, and I don’t like that kind of attention at all. When I was younger (15-17), I was way more of an engagement baiter. I have a whole screenshot folder of celebrity comments that I garnered from semi-famous actors and online figures from Twitter and Tumblr…nothing too crazy thankfully, but definitely not things I’m proud of anymore. It was a sport to me, the peak I would feel from getting a blip of recognition would just make my day, even when I had no one to share it with.
From an academic point of view, I believe that it’s only going to take a few years for Internet comments to become a valuable primary source in publication. And comments have changed formats in the last few years: what once used to be a text based medium has now transformed into images, videos, and GIFs thanks to TikTok and IG.
The last comment that I read that made me double take was this one, tucked under a discussion of parties. Essentially, the video response was to a comment about how it’s demoralizing to accept that hosting parties comes with an average 50% attendance rate. The creator shared that within the last few years, people have become worse at communicating when it comes to social events, which leads to frustration from the host and the invitees. Many arguments for and against this take were what you would expect (things about chronic illness, support, validation) but this one completely caught me off guard.
I realize there’s an irony of commenting on a comment, but really, all I want you to do is read that and if you feel so inclined, text me or reply to this email with what you think. I’m genuinely curious as to what phrases stick out to you, whether you think this is real or ragebait, etc.
That being said…there’s a few observations I’ve seen about how to combat weird comments that have now been labeled that I think are funny as hell.
The “bean soup” theory. Some people have chronic “What about me?” syndrome, and when they express those -isms online, man is it annoying. I have always been a “if it’s not for me, scroll away” person but bean soup is way funnier to say in reference to this phenomenon. (TLDR: someone posted a recipe TikTok about bean soup and people commented saying “What if I don’t like beans?” THEN DON’T MAKE THE FREAKING SOUP, IT’S THAT SIMPLE).
“Did the journal factory explode” is a fantastic response to the chronic oversharers. I would not recommend using this in real life (if you said this to me, I’d probably cry inside). But how many times have you seen the most unhinged lore drop that left you thinking they were doing too much? That comment about parties could probably use a gentle “Did the journal factory explode.” Other variants include “This should’ve stayed in the drafts,” “Uh oh, did your inside thought become an outside thought?”
What this all comes down to is: public comments are an art form. Not everyone is gifted in the art of spoken commentary. If you’re going to engage sincerely with something, that is universally one of the best things you can do. Comment with curiosity, with support, or share silently if that’s your jam. If you’re going to engage in something hatefully, or with the expectation of being perceived as funny, chances are you weren’t that funny in the first place and you’ll likely look and sound a fool. If you comment on a video, a livestream, for the intention of garnering engagement…I would implore you to think about what you’re saying, every once in a while. I’ve seen a lot of livestreams where the chat gets all riled up and funny, and when someone crosses a line that shouldn’t have been crossed, oop! That ban hammer lands swiftly and without mercy. If you’re repeating what someone said…sure there can be humor in variation, but that is extremely hard to achieve. I would argue the best comments come organically, with no precedent before them. As the title says, “If you’re gonna be mean, at least be creative about it.” But from my perspective, judgment is a social activity best shared in the company of trusted people, not from anonymous keyboard warriors.
See y’all after commencement,
Dr. Helen :)
