estimated reading time: 3-4 minutes

Is it the most wonderful time of year, or is the seasonal depression hitting you? Whatever it may be, the end of 2024 is fast approaching, and like every other year, I look forward to its completion.

As you have been aware, this email newsletter has been my way of flexing my writing muscles, combined with my desire to communicate in a low-stress environment, free from the chains of social media. I like writing, and after exploring fanfiction writing last year, I can confidently say that it’s not my thing and I prefer just writing in a casual journal style. After deleting all major platforms off my phone in January, I can definitely say that not having those apps has done me a lot of good. But it’s not perfect - since I didn’t delete my accounts, I would still check in on Instagram about once a week on average (maybe 2-3 times if I was looking for something). Better than before, but still…needs improvement.

I think in 2025, there’s a high chance that I may need to be actively posting a bit more on Instagram (bleh). But it would be mainly for work, not pleasure, which is in some ways a loss, and a win. It’s a win for me because after distancing myself for some time, I can now come back and have a somewhat “healthier” relationship with these godforsaken platforms. But it’s a loss because the content I’ll be posting will be related to work and travel, which will probably feel disingenuous to y’all. As much as I’d like to be posting silly haha time with my friends, or go on the close friends story, I’ve learned that I can’t do those things in moderation. Nor can I engage in platforms that are anonymous, like Tumblr, Reddit, etc. because I’ve proven on multiple occasions that I can be a menace when I’m given a free mask. I’d rather be called out for “unc behavior” by my brother (which he did do the other day) than be chronically online like I was before. I mean, realistically what I’ve done or said is fairly tame to what people on the Internet are doing on a daily basis, but to me it feels like I did things in a way that feels antithetical to my current being.

That being said, I want to be better next year when it comes to my online habits and screen time. I think this year was a step in the right direction, and I can feel a good portion of the brain rot fading. After this year’s disappointing Spotify wrapped dropped, I went and paid real money to a third-party website to transfer my playlists to Apple Music so I could cancel my Spotify subscription. I have a 3 month free trial for Apple Music on now, and in that time I can decide if the switch is worth it or not. But I’m trying to be more cognizant about where I spend my attention and my money, especially with digital subscriptions. I’m thinking about buying a paper planner (the first in probably 5 years), and not just relying on 3 digital calendars to get me through. Or maybe I’ll buy a new journal and start daily journaling again - I had a 5 year journal from 2019-2023 that I completed, so 2024 will be this weird “lost year of no paper journaling” if I restart again in 2025.

More thoughts to be had later. This is all I could squeeze out in 40 minutes.

Helen

what i’m watching: Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (finishing up the first season), and One Piece still

what i’m reading: the last book I read was Adrian Daub - Four Handed Monsters but that was for research so I’m not counting it